Abstaining, Praying and Preparing (A.P.P.)



By: Saviela Edwards Thorne

You are a beautiful gem created by the very hands of God. You are special (Deuteronomy 7:6) in eyes of your creator. You are fearfully and wonderfully made as stated in Psalms 139:14. You are not what others say you are what God says you are and last time I checked ladies, he is crazy in love with you, he even knows the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7). I know you’re looking for someone to love you like that but the truth is you already have someone head over heels in love with you and that person is Jesus! He desires a close relationship with you more than you will ever know. His love for you runs so deep that he died for you (I’m going to tell you ladies you will not find too many guys who would be willing to do that). The reason why I am telling you this is because having a relationship with Christ first sets everything else in order for your life. St. Matthew 6:33 states “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” God is a jealous God, he wants you to be completely dedicated to him before he can trust you to bring someone else in your life. This article is designed to help you one realize how valuable you are and to help you maintain yourself during your season of singleness.

Smartphone users have something call apps we download our phones to make our lives a little less complicated. We have banking apps, social media apps, bible apps etc. There is one app that I encourage all singles to download and apply in your life. Ladies, it’s time to A.P.P yourself during your season of singleness. By Abstaining from sexual immorality, by Praying and lastly by Preparing yourself to be the wife God is calling you to be.

  1. Abstaining – I Thessalonians 4:3 states, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification that ye should abstain from fornication. Hebrew word for fornication is porneia root from the English word pornography, which means surrendering of sexual purity of any and every type. Often times we wonder what the will of God is for our lives here is one instance where God plainly tell us. His will is for us to abstain from fornication, sexual immortality, any sexual act that is done against your body, yes that includes masturbation. Once you are saved, filled with his Holy Spirit, your body becomes a temple where the Holy Spirit dwells. The Lord wants you to keep your temple clean by abstaining from things that will hinder the Spirit of God from working freely in your life. Light and darkness cannot dwell together so there are times when we have to choose who we will submit to the Lord or to our flesh. Whoever you lend your members too that is who you become a servant of.
    1. “I’ve falling and I can’t get up – I know you’ve seen the commercials and laugh at it every time you see it, but spiritually this can destroy you. The bible says a righteous man falleth 7 times! Its ok if you fall and reality is you’re going to fall but the key is not to stay and dwell there. Ask for forgiveness from God, turn away from your sinfully ways and forgive yourself. God hears your cry he knows you don’t want to live a life of sexual immortality but you must make the decision to stop because you are jeopardizing your salvation. Your spiritual and nature life is on the line.
    2. Cleansing – I had fallen before I met my husband and I honestly believed that I was damaged goods. I was so hurt and destroyed upset with myself to the point where I wanted to end my life because I thought that was the best way out. I disappointed myself and others but most importantly God. But how many of us know God is a deliver! God forgave me and blessed me with a wonderful husband who adores me. I had to make a decision to either forgive myself and move on or to dwell in pity of my past. Before we got engaged I dread telling my husband about my past but I knew there was no way I could go further without telling him the truth. I was surprised by his reaction, he said, “Ok that was your past but I am your future.” Wow! He didn’t think any less of me or anything and I truly praise God for that. We made a vow to the Lord to abstain from sex before marriage and were able to hold out until our wedding night times got real intense because of we placed ourselves in dangerous situations but God blessed us to hold on to our vow to him and boy did he bless! The night of our wedding the Lord restored my virginity! What is impossible with man is possible with God. I praise God because I didn’t feel worthy but he made me worthy through his grace!
  2. Praying – This is a time for you to give yourself to the Lord, take out time from your busy schedule to set aside a dedicated time every day to just pray. The bible instructs us to “Pray without ceasing” because the devil is looking for an opportunity to steal your hope of one day being married (I Thessalonians 5:17). He will implant evil thoughts such as, you’re too old, ugly or that no one wants you but the truth is, there is someone out there for you if you desire to be married. When you pray, make your request known unto God (Philippians 4:6). Someone once encouraged me to write out all the attributes I wanted in a husband. Pray over it and place it in a bible and forget about it. Well I did just that and each guy that I met I would take it out and compare them to my list. When I met my now husband, he not only met all the attributes but he exceeded it. Fasting is another important component of prayer. My husband and I set aside one day a week to fast for our future (before we were even engaged). Take this time to pray for your future husband to pray that God continues to keep you and to pray that God’s will be done and that he opens your eyes to be sensitive to His will for your life. Pray for others especially family and friends and even your enemies when they find their special someone. Most importantly, and don’t allow the spirit of jealously and envy to overtake and control you. The Key is for you not to get bitter but to be a blessing. Rejoice with those who rejoice because your time is coming (Romans 12:15).
  3. Preparing yourself to be a wife – Ladies Proverbs 18:22 states He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. I know we hear this all the time and most of the time the one thing that is pointed out is that “He who finds a wife” which means you are not looking for him but he is looking for you and that is very true; however, the part I want to emphasis is he who finds a WIFE not a girlfiend, not a special friend with benefits but a WIFE. Which means you are a wife before you are married. During this season of singleness it is also a season of preparation for the future. I learned this first hand, you cannot become a wife to someone you don’t know yet and there is no amount of teaching, books, seminars etc. that can teach you how to be a wife to your husband. The only way you will learn is through experience and learning him once you’re married. However there are some aspects of a wife that are very important to note now.
    1. Respect the men in your life however don’t give anyone privileges of a husband until he give you a ring and his last name.
    2. Learn to be a friend and supporter and prayer partner. Your future husband will need you to be there to pray for him to build him up to respect and love him because one day you will become his world and he will need you.
    3. Lastly learn to be patient not to be anxious but to wait, yes I said wait on the man God has created just for you. We live in a society now that basically teaches ladies how to get their man and keep him, but that’s not Gods way and plan for you he wants you to wait to love him and to focus your time and energy on him first and I promise as it did with me while you are so busy working on the things of the Lord the man God designed you to be with will just appear in your life in God’s perfect timing.

These are just a few things I have learned during my season of singleness that I wanted to share with you ladies. Just be patient spend this time getting closer to God. He will fill that void in your life with his presence so you will be lacking nothing. Your time is coming but until then A.P.P. yourself.